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From: lori
Category: Category 1
Date: 12/9/02
Time: 11:00:43 AM
Remote Name: 207.63.20.100
I feel I lose it over stupid things alot..I get depressed but not exactly the way she does..I should tell her how I feel but I can't because I am always afraid I will make her kill herself or something if I do...I don't know...I married a guy who gets like my mother sometimes..he doesn't tell the kids about wanting to kill himself or any weird thing like my mother but he tells me..I have always been the protecter..I think I have continued that effort with my husband..I love him but sometimes I want to smack him..I get depressed to but as I have always done as a kid I force myself out of it...I also eat too much and sometimes sleep alittle too much..lol..depression I know..and I cut myself..that started as a kid..its like a threat to kill myself with out actually trying to kill myself..more or less its a cry for someone to love me...that is more it..I want someone to see it and not get mad but say oh no have I put too much pressure on you, do you need to be loved,cared for instead of trying to keep me happy..It also is a stress release it makes me feel better...I don't cut much anymore but I get the urge sometimes.